The Secrets and Their Keeper

Alright, so this is a rant I wrote up last Tuesday after an especially baffling and awkward math class with one of the new teachers who decided to come and fuck everything up in our school.
Unless you're epileptic, watch the video before completing the rant, as I put it there to purposely fit into the mood I'm trying to convey here.

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My name is Sabrina G. I am good at math.

TOO BAD MY MATH TEACHER PRACTICALLY SKULLFUCKED ME TODAY.

OH MY FUCKING GOD.

I have always been a good math person, usually at the top of my class (or close) with Honors. Last year, the year before, the year before that… I’ve always been good at math, with Algebra being my strong point.

BUT THIS CLASS IAM IN I SWEAR TO GOD--
It’s going to be the death of me! I’m in Algebra 2 Honors/Trigonometry Honors, which I would be able to handle with ease. If I read the book we’re given, the concepts are crystal clear to me, but I swear to god my teacher is mindraping me. He’s just so out there, it’s hard to describe.
He just rambled about completely irrelevant things! One second he’s on the Domain and range and graphing linear equations (Geometry review), then he’s talking about some machine with f(X) and Coors beer, then he just jumps back into the middle of his Domain and Range lecture!

Let me give you an example;
Domain
1
2
3

Range
4
6
8

He made a graph like that (except with circles, and the domain and range were next to each other) and basically explained the relationships between the domain and range. He drew a straight line across from the 1 to 4, 2 to 6, and 3 to 8, and told us why he went straight across and how that translated into coordinate pairs.

Then, he drew another line, this time from 1 to 6, and told us this was not possible to add this pair to the three already listed. Before we could ask why, he said,

“I know you guys are wondering why I can’t do this and what difference it makes…” Then he paused for a really long time, looked at us, and continued, “Well if I plug 2 into a calculator and square it, I would expect to get 4, and same with -2 because multiplying two negatives makes a positive. If I put 2 squared into the calculator and got 6, then I would have to throw the calculator out, wouldn’t I?”

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
WHAT FUCKING RELEVANCE DOES THAT HAVE TO THE CURRENT SITUATION AT ALL?!
THAT WAS HIS FUCKING EXPLAINATION! THAT WAS IT!

He just laughed at himself and just started rambling again!

I mean, of course I knew what he was talking about, that’s kind of basic ( 2x2=4, -2x(-2)=4, sqrt4=2), but what did that have to do with him putting the line to the 6 from the 1?! I was trying so hard not to burst into laughter and tears at the same time. He then asked us if we had heard of the f(x) formula and how to plug it into the f(x)=3x-4 kind of equation, with f meaning to plug in the (x) as a real number into the equation on the other side of the = sign. Yeah, I got it once I read the book, but oh my god.

Then he starts giving us this random rant about Coors beer and draws this weird vat diagram that had to do in some way with the f(x)=3x-4 equation, but he drew like five lines into one side of it and listed the five main ingredients for beer and tells us that they have to make it Coors and not Bud and if they have an unstable “equation” for the beer than they might not sell as well.
Once again, what relevance does this actually have to what we are talking about? Like, what did that have to do with anything at all?

Because of his lack of explanations of rudimentary absolute values (which I understand now, but didn’t when we were quizzed because he sucks at explaining), I now have a C+ in a class I’m supposed to have an A+ in. I don’t want to have an A, I have to. I’ve had complete straight A’s in High School so far and this is what I’m relying on for scholarships since my family is poor. I am aiming to get into somewhere like Georgia Tech or something; I’m going to major in chemical engineering. I’m not letting one weird teacher drag me down.